I guess the questions is….why do I wanna get married?  Whether single, widowed, divorced, just got out of a relationship, serial dater, player, born again Christian….the question will come to mind why get married.  If you have no desire to be married, leave Christian singles alone.  That’s the first step.  If you are are a Christian and you wanna marry….fellas keep your zipper up and ladies keep your skirts down.  You can hold out.  Yes it’s hard (I speak from experience).

Sometimes we need to just take a step back and let God deal with our hearts before we get married.  Sometimes we just need to deal with some mindsets that can’t work in a God-given marriage.  Here are 3 types of women & men that need to do a self examination before marriage.



  1. Status

So you think a man in a higher position can take you places you’ve never been?  Perhaps you only want to be a first lady of the church, or you only date men that make a lot of money.  You are suffering from a need to be validate.  Money can’t validate you, having nice things can’t validate you.  It just means your bank account is always drained trying to maintain a lifestyle you can’t afford.  And when you marry you drain his.  Power couples don’t struggle together they build together! Ladies don’t look for a man to validate who you are.  God did that when he created you.  Know who you are before you say yes at the altar.

2. We settle

Don’t ever settle!  God promises to give us his best!  Never settle for a man just because he is the only guy available in the singles ministry.  Does he match your destiny, do match his???  Is he praying for a woman like you, are you praying for a man like him?  If your not sure wait.

3. He fine

Looks fade!  Men grow bald. Usually earlier than women. Bellies get bigger.  You get the drift looks fade.  That six pack won’t last.  His integrity, character, demeanor will last.  A man that can treat you well and has vision, that’s sexy!  Looks can be deceiving the bible warns us.



  1. Trophy

Fellas your wife or wife to be is not a trophy!  Something that you put on display for all the men to look at.  Don’t be shocked if one of your so-called friends try to steal her away.  What did you expect, you set a sheep in the middle of a pack of ravenous wolves.   She is a treasure not a trophy.

2. She treat me like my mom treat me

Please momma boy’s find a life outside of your mom.  Yes you love your mom and we love our’s. But God says leave your father and mother and cling to your wife.  Your wife is not your mother and she can’t ever be.  She wants to be your wife, partner, help-meet.  Appreciate the little things she does for you.

3. Control

Women are not pets.  You can’t control another human being.  As the head of the household do not take your position as a way to mistreat her.  You are still a team.  Yes she is to submit to you, but you also must submit to her.  Your body is not your own and neither is her body her own.  You belong to one another.  You are joined together as one.  You will have more peace in your home and less struggle if you learn to yield to each other.


If you fall in any of these categories you have the wrong perception of what love is.  Time to change your mindset. Love is willing to serve another person.  You care about their needs before yours.  It’s selfless.  In return the other should be willing to serve you.  Care about your needs before their’s.