COURTING VS. DATING

Hello everyone!  I have been on a blog kick this month apparently.  Forgive me for the picture I know it doesn’t match the blog title.  But I love these boots lol.

My oh my what a delightful topic for many Christians who are single.  What in the world is the difference between courting and dating?  Well one huge difference is that courting existed in the 1700’s while dating is a 20th century ideal. (lol)  No seriously, there is a major difference between the two and if you will let me, I’d like to point them out.  Ready?  Here we go!

Courting allows the man and the woman to be friends first.

Dating says lets just go with the flow.

Courting gives you time to discover if this is the mate God has for you.

Dating says as long as there is chemistry we can make it work.

Courting says no sex before marriage.

Dating says sex is open before marriage.

Courting says consult God throughout the process.

Dating says your smart enough to make the decision.

The most important thing to remember is that if you are seeking God to live out your purpose in life, you should desire a spouse that is a part of God’s plan for your life.  Don’t be afraid to ask God questions about your spouse!  God does speak about all the other plans in your life, why wouldn’t he tell you about your spouse?  Now don’t think God is going to give you an address or the persons name but know that you can ask the Father about the person.  I love what Dr. Myles Monroe said about Adam and Eve.  He said Adam did not meet the woman first.  Instead Adam met with God in his presence first, then the woman was introduced to Adam. 

When Adam woke up out of his sleep, he was able to perceive that the woman came from his rib.  How????  Because God had given him revelation that it was so!  You can go to God and ask for revelation about your future spouse.  Men especially, hear me out on this!  How else will you know what you are looking for if you don’t know what you are looking for?  A woman that knows how to cook is not the only quality in a “godly wife” you should be looking for…keyword “godly”.  Ladies be careful! Wearing our hearts on our sleeve is not a compliment.  We can’t go for the first guy we see, ask questions and take this man to God in prayer.  God will say no quickly if he is not it!  And if he is, God will let him know too!  God won’t tell you without telling the man.

I hope this shed some light on courting vs. dating.  Have a great night!

 

 

THE CHRISTIAN DELIMMA

After 2016 single season, I’d rather not continue conversations about the opposite sex and dating.  But because of my current state I have no choice I gather.  I am learning that interestingly enough men talk about dating just as much as women do, without the commentary.

One young lady said to me, Husbands are nice but they require a lot of attention and work. No ma’am, you are selfish and not ready to be a wife!  Let’s just get to the root of the matter.  In reality she requires a lot of attention and if her list of requirements aren’t met, then she passes the men by.

Sadly, this is the world we exist in today.  Men and women have ridiculous list made out that almost seems like a list made by the government or media on what’s required from their mate.  And what’s worse is they haven’t even met the person.  We don’t know what they look like, their personality, nor their purpose!

So my question to Christians singles with the “must have” list is this….Where is your list of obligations and duties to your mate!  So you want them to meet this and that requirement?  Where are your requirements to your mate?  What are you bringing to the table?

I hope it matches what you are demanding!

It’s time out for the foolishness.  God can’t give you his best if your mind is made up of what you want.  You can get that on your own!  What do you need God’s approval for after you have created your own Adam or Eve?

Just saying…

 

Copy and paste the link below to purchase your copy of “To be a Light in a Dark Place”.  Available on amazon books now to learn more about Evangelism.

 

https://www.amazon.com/Aretha-Lumas/e/B00L4IG1VY

7 DAYS CONSUMING GOOD FRUIT

fruits20of20spirit

DAY 2-JOY

Joy and Happiness are not the same no matter what anyone tells you.  The bible shows us there is a clear difference.

Here are just a few pointers to give a simple explanation:

  • Joy is based on God, happiness is based on you.
  • Joy is something you can only receive from God.  Why do you think it’s listed as one of the fruits of the spirit and not happiness?
  • Happiness is based on an external condition.  That’s why the antonym for happiness is sadness.  If something happens that is negative it can make you sad instead of happy.
  • Joy causes you to think and look forward for what’s to come.  Happiness often reflects on what was or is.

Even in the midst of chaos and turmoil you can experience joy!  Let me explain…My mother passed away at 57 years old in 2014.  I still managed to have joy in the midst of that situation for only one reason….God!  I was so full of joy knowing that my mother got saved a week before she passed and she was now a kingdom citizen!  You see I don’t have to live wondering where her soul will spend eternity!  That in itself is a blessing!  I thank God she received salvation every day!

Joy you can experience everyday while happiness you can only experience when something good happens. Which would you rather have? Something that’s temporary or something that is for eternity? Think about it and have a blessed Thursday!

If you would like to read a book on evangelism copy the link below to order your hard copy available on amazon or download the e-book version on your Kindle.

https://www.amazon.com/Aretha-Lumas/e/B00L4IG1VY

7 DAYS CONSUMING GOOD FRUIT

There comes a time in our walk with God that we desire to discover the hidden treasures of the Spirit.  There is so much God wants to reveal to us about him often we just don’t know how to ask for it or find it.  I always start with the word.  Anytime I spend time in God’s word there is always a new revelation revealed.  I have been in a place where I truly want to know who I am in Christ.  So this journey began of course by an unction of the Holy Spirit to look up “the fruits of the spirit” found in Galatians.  Over the next 7 days I will be posting a new blog so we can walk through the 9 fruits of the spirit. I want you to know exactly what you have inside of you.  His spirit lives in us and we should exemplify these fruits daily!

Galatians 5:22-23New International Version (NIV)

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

I have read and seen this scripture many times.  Every once in a while I like to travel back to it in the bible just to see how I am doing.  Notice the second sentence in this scripture: against such things there is no law.  Powerful!  Paul in this verse is explaining that Christians that live there life demonstrating these fruits are not bound by the law.  Seems easy enough right?  Not really, sometimes life can throw curve balls our way that gets us off our game, or we have not been fully delivered in some areas.  What we need more of is revelation!  So let me start of this blog with some revelation I have received.  Plus, I will still keep it short and sweet!

THE FRUIT OF LOVE

There is a clear difference between what God defines as love and what the world defines as love.  Here is a break down:

GOD DEFINITION OF LOVE                                                        THE WORLD DEFINITION OF LOVE

Agape-unconditional love                                                         Love-intense feeling of love

Love is thoughtful                                                                        Love is based upon emotions

Giving                                                                                               Needy

Beauty is of the heart                                                                  Beauty is about the outside first

Spiritual attraction                                                                       Sexual attraction

If you already knew that that’s great!  But here is a way to test yourself, this includes ladies and gents.

  1. Do you ALWAYS find yourself looking at the opposite sex?  Always comparing and rating them on a scale?
  2. Are you sexually aroused often around the opposite sex?
  3. Are you always listing out what the man/woman can do for you, and not what you can do for them whether your single/married/in a relationship?

If you answered yes, maybe, or kind of”” to any of these….and you honestly answered truthfully, then you should definitely pray to God about it.  The ultimate example of love that we have is God and his wonderful son Jesus!  But if your like me I needed to read what not to do first and that you can find by reading the same chapter in Galatians where you find the good fruit (Galatians 5:19-21).  Paul gives us a great list of what is not love.

I hope this helped in some form or fashion!  God bless you all!  Keep reading your bible, praying, and seeking God!  It’s time we all come to know who we really are.

If you would like to read a book on evangelism copy the link below to order your hard copy available on amazon or download the e-book version on your Kindle.

https://www.amazon.com/Aretha-Lumas/e/B00L4IG1VY

 

 

CHECKMATE!

So love is in the air!  Usually before the first snow hits the ground, new couples are on the rise!  They magically find one another in time for New Year’s Eve and Valentines Day.  It’s super sweet to see them holding hands and adoring one another.  This is indeed the most wonderful time of the year!

There is a common theme though when it comes to Christians or at least it should be.  We have been told many times that we are in the world but not of it (1 John 2:15-17).  Observing the culture today you can barely tell the difference between a Christian couple and non-Christian couple.  Some say it’s due to the unbalanced standard between men and women in the church.  Women are taught to wait on God, while the men in the church are taught to go find a wife.

There is always the assumption the woman is not ready, but never questioning is the man ready.  Just as women are emotionally damaged sometime before marriage, men often times are emotionally unstable!  The problem is on both sides, however there’s a double standard that needs to be addressed.  Here is my suggestion:

Men…allow God to choose your mate.  Yes just as women are told God will send you man, yes God will reveal to your woman.  No need to go on a dating binge until you find “the one”.  It is wise to see the Lord before you go out on this adventure.  Have you ever stopped to think on your quest that He knows who she is!  Just like he revealed to you your promises, blessings, destiny, he can reveal her to you.  Seek ye first comes in handy right here.  You won’t have all the headaches that come with finding 6 wrong one’s, before you find the right one!

Women…Wait with Grace! Meaning, build your confidence!  If you need every good looking man that passes you by to tell you your beautiful you need a confidence boost!  You are beautiful!  Know that!  Walk in it!  Wait on God!  An aggressive woman comes off as thirsty to a godly man, keyword “godly”.  Third, let your heart heal from old relationship wounds.  Trust me on your first few dates it is not attractive to reminisce about your past relationships and heartbreaks.  Who wants bruised fruit!  You want your fruit ripe and juicy (healthy)!

Allowing God to choose your mate is like how your first girlfriend/boyfriend needs the okay from your parents.  What happens though is are first relationship never meets our parents and we hide them because we know they won’t approve.  We do the same with God.  We never ask God before we step out into the deep.  Before we know it.  We are praying to God to remove the person.  You can’t just go with the flow.  You’re wasting her time or his time.  Don’t date while desperate!

EVANGELISM 101

 

Good afternoon! 

How are you guys?

I had an exhausting but fun weekend!  Spent some time in the pool, ate great food, and fun with my besties!

I wanted to chat with the singles this summer.  You know the summer season is the hook up season!  Especially those of you who have not been saved all your life.  I am super excited not because it’s mating season for some, but this is a great opportunity to share the gospel with strangers.   I don’t know what it is about summer, perhaps it’s the beautiful breeze and the sunshine that keeps people happy.  People are more open to talk with Christians about Christ it seems in the summer.

Evangelism is not scary!  Get that stinkin’ thinkin’ out your head.  You can strike up an interesting conversation with anyone.  The key is to share in love.  You’ll learn something new from each individual person you encounter.  

Not really hands on or a little shy? No problem, you can always give out a bible verse written on a note card to someone, your church information, or start a blog!

There are many ways to share your faith with strangers.  In my book “To be a Light in a Dark Place” I talk about many different ways the Lord allowed me to share my testimony.  Take a peak by clicking the link below.  God bless and great work saints!