CHRISTIAN DATING

 

This will be a quick an easy blog folks!  Just wanted to share some quick and easy ways to dicipher if you are struggling with lust or love for a potential mate.

Consider this:  You should always see your mate or interest as God sees them.  They are not an object for your affection, but a person.

Here are a couple of examples of what this may look like
How a woman of God thinks:

  1. His worship is authentic.
  2. Wow he can pray!
  3. He is sooooo nice!
  4. His personality is awesome!
  5. He loves the Lord.

How a woman with lust thinks:

  1. His eyes are gorgeous!
  2. He got them kissin lips.
  3. Look at his arms!
  4. He must workout
  5. I can imagine what he workin wit’.

Poor guy, ladies you already sizing him up!

How a man of God thinks:

  1. She must love the Lord.
  2. She has a great spirit.
  3. She is so wise.
  4. She is so sweet.
  5. She is so giving.

How a man with lust thinks:

  1. She fine!
  2. I can think of 10 things I wanna do with her!
  3. Look at her booty/boobs!
  4. She so sexy!
  5. She can have my baby!

Sorry fellas…A woman of God that knows who she is won’t care that you like these things about her. 

COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS WELCOME!  GOD BLESS

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SEPARATION VS. PREPARATION P2

 


King James Bible
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.  2 Corinthians 5:17

I don’t mean to brag, but I am the queen of moving on!  I can’t stand holding on to old junk.  To me if it’s broke don’t fix it!  Literally!  Just throw it away. Id rather have something that is fully functional than slightly dysfunctional.  E.g. slightly working flat irons, old clothes, old worn out shoes, even things I just don’t use anymore.  This is why yard sales do so awesome! You can make a decent amount of money getting rid of things you don’t need or use anymore. When it came to my personal vehicle, I was ready to toss it too.  As soon as a sensor went out I was done, because i didn’t have the patience nor the funds to deal with it at time. I was looking for perfection in a man made product.

On the other hand, there is something extraordinary about something that was once broken, torn, used and it’s restored.  Just ask the genius that invented rustic furniture.  At some point the scratched piece of furniture lost its visual appeal, but has been reformed and looks brand new. The good news is we can be the same way.  I am sure you have heard this before in your walk with God.  But what happens when you reach that place where you feel stagnant.  That you can’t grow anymore.  You’re praying for 30 minutes, you read your bible all the way through, you go to Sunday service: now what?  It’s time to stretch! You’ve prayed for 30 minutes for quite a while, try an hour!  You’ve read your bible all the way through, now try word studies!  You’ve been faithful to Sunday service, now join a ministry and serve in the church!

Being stagnant can only come from two ways….you’re not moving or you’re being blocked!

Higher levels require a lighter load!

Some things you just have to be willing to let go of!

  1. FRIENDS

This one may be the hardest.  Especially if they are life long friends.  But consider this.  If you friend wants to move to California for their purpose and you want to move to Florida to fulfill your purpose.  Guess what?  You are already separated because your purposes are different.  It doesn’t mean that you both want cross paths later in life.  It just means for the time being you can’t help one another.

2.  OLD BAGS

Get rid of your old dirty thoughts!  Lighten that load!  Stop thinking and reminiscing about old boyfriends/girlfriends, old experiences, the “I remember when I used to”.  You don’t live there anymore.  Imagine standing on the cuff of the promise land and your still reminiscing about Egypt!  Stop it!

Separation is key to preparation.  God is trying to do a new thing and honestly your in his way!  Sometimes we spend so much time trying to repair broken things from our past we can’t embrace the new things.  The former man is gone.  That life is gone!  Disco is dead!  Move and prepare for greater!  See you at the promised land! 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

**COMFORTABLE SPACES**

IKEA is one of my favorite places to visit.  The showrooms are outstanding!  They are setup to make you believe you have that much style and grace, and can become a pro designer.  Separated by glorious kitchens, magical bedrooms, and comfortable living rooms; your fantasy home comes alive in IKEA as you can make your living space your own. For first time home buyers and small space apartment onlookers IKEA is a dream come true.  They have mastered the comfortable places look.

Comfortable places make us feel like we are in a place of peace.  We can be ourselves and no one can judge us.  

They are perfect places to hide and get away from reality.  The room pictured above would be perfect for a couple of home-bodies!

The problem with comfortable spaces with Christians is that we never want to leave.  We get stuck in a comfortable place.  Sound familiar?  Perhaps your finally caught up on the bills, making a decent salary and you stop pushing for that promotion.  Or you get to a place spiritually where you know the word, your serving, praying, worshiping God, but you stop stretching.  Perhaps you know God is telling it’s time to grow up, but you are comfortable sitting on the couch.  You don’t want to move because you are in a familiar place and you fear the unknown.  

God, if you can understand and grasps this, does not like comfortable spaces.  He doesn’t like boxes.  He is a magnificent God!  So why would he want his people to do the bare minimum.  When God does a thing or performs…he establishes it.  He makes it known to ALL!  He does it exceedingly abundantly above all we could ask or think!  This is what a spirit of excellence looks like!  

David grew in stature!  From sheep herder to King!  He allowed God to groom him!  And in the time of promotion God judged and Saul was sat down!  God will do the same for you too…if you come our of your comfortable space….

To be continued…..

 

WHEN THEY DON’T PASS THE TEST

LET THEM GO!!! LOL!!! THAT’S IT!!! IT’S AS SIMPLE AS THAT!!!

 

 

I’m kidding.  But seriously I’ll keep this short and sweet.  Before you consider anyone know this!  God will reveal to you your mate if you desire!!!  Just review the story of Rebecca and Isaac.  So often we are focused on Ruth and Boaz story we forget about this divine intervention from God!  If God knew before you were formed in your mothers womb and he know’s your beginning and end.  Don’t you think he knows a good partner for you too?  Just saying….

So how do you know????

  1. Do they match what God is saying about your mate?
  2. Have you even asked God about your mate?
  3. Do they know their purpose?
  4. Do you know your own purpose (if not you need to seek God, before you seek a mate)?

Here is the story of Isaac and Rebecca with commentary!  Enjoy!

Genesis 24:2-16
He said to the senior servant in his household, the one in charge of all that he had, “Put your hand under my thigh. 3I want you to swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, but will go to my country and my own relatives and get a wife for my son Isaac.”
The servant asked him, “What if the woman is unwilling to come back with me to this land? Shall I then take your son back to the country you came from?”
6“Make sure that you do not take my son back there,” Abraham said. 7“The Lord, the God of heaven, who brought me out of my father’s household and my native land and who spoke to me and promised me on oath, saying, ‘To your offspring I will give this land’—he will send his angel before you so that you can get a wife for my son from there.
ABRAHAM TRUSTED GOD TO REVEAL.
If the woman is unwilling to come back with you, then you will be released from this oath of mine. Only do not take my son back there.” So the servant put his hand under the thigh of his master Abraham and swore an oath to him concerning this matter.
10 Then the servant left, taking with him ten of his master’s camels loaded with all kinds of good things from his master. He set out for Aram Naharaim and made his way to the town of Nahor. 11 He had the camels kneel down near the well outside the town; it was toward evening, the time the women go out to draw water.
12 Then he prayed, “Lord, God of my master Abraham, make me successful today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. 13 See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water.
THE SERVANT DID WHAT WE ALL SHOULD DO ABOUT MARRIAGE!  HE PRAYED! PRAY FOR DIRECTION! PRAY FOR REVELATION. GOD WILL REVEAL THINGS ABOUT THE PERSON HE WON’T REVEAL THE PERSON UNTIL IT’S TIME. 
14 May it be that when I say to a young woman, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’—let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.”
15 Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milkah, who was the wife of Abraham’s brother Nahor. 16 The woman was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had ever slept with her. She went down to the spring, filled her jar and came up again.

AM I A GOOD TREE???

I once had an unnecessary altercation at work.  When I first started working at a company I hated parking on the top level.  My thoughts were, “Why should I have to park on the top level and there are spaces available on the lower level!”  I failed to pay attention to the RESERVED sign on the available spaces.  More like ignored them completely!  So I felt that it was okay for me to park in this spot because no one was using it.  I got away with it for like 6 months and finally someone left a polite note on my windshield saying, “This spot is reserved. Please do not park here.”  If you only use the spot once every 6 months you shouldn’t mind if someone else parks there right??? Wrong!  I shouldn’t have been parking there period.

What does a parking spot have to do with being a good tree?  A lot actually.  I really quick wanted to touch on the subject of self-evaluation.  How is your spiritual walk going with Christ so far?  Are you growing?  Are you moving forward?  Or are you stagnant, stuck, not moving?  Are you growing in reverse, backsliding, still struggling in some areas?  If you feel stuck it’s not a bad place to be.  It just means you need to do some self-evaluation. 

I shared my parking lot story to say at that time in my life even something that seems so simple to me isn’t simple God.  God prefers us to act with integrity.  After all we are his representatives in the earth.  There are many areas in our character that we can benefit from growing.  Growing requires taking off the old and putting on the new.  At age 10 you were kids clothes.  You shopped with your parents at Justice for Kids. When you turned 16, your body changed. You could no longer fit your clothes you wore at age 10.  You had to get all new clothes.  Same with producing good fruit (righteous living) and bad fruit (unrighteous living).

Keep this scripture in the forefront of your mind:

Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.  A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. 

With God there is no in-between.  You are either growing or not growing. A warning from God for those that are considered lukewarm.  “So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.” Revelation 3:16.  We should never get to a point where we are undecided on what God clearly says in his word.  If you don’t stand with him we are considered against.  Ever had a friend like that?  These days we call them ride or die.  That’s how it is with God.  It’s a safer place to be trust me!

We have to make a decision.  We are either allowing God to develop us or we are producing bad habits, bad thoughts, unfruitful lifestyle.  Make the decision to choose God, choose life, choose Jesus!

 

DOES HE HAVE VISION???

It’s a new year, new day, and I pray a new mindset for everyone!  

I hope all of the singles crossed over into the new year.  Still believing, still practicing abstinence, and filled with expectancy!  I know that last year was rough!  And if you are like me, weary can’t describe how you felt in 2016 while waiting on your mate. So what I want to say to you is this!  Focus on your relationship with God in 2017!

Before we begin to stress about whether we are going to meet our spouse’s this year….it’s good to reflect on your own growth and maturity in Christ.  Ask yourself are you the wife/husband you should be.  It’s easy to say what we want and desire out of a relationship!  But think about what you are bringing to the table. 

For the ladies the biggest issue nowadays is that we spend so much time chasing the man instead of allowing him to pursue us.  The biggest issue for men now is that he doesn’t take time to ask God about the woman to be.

The problem with Christians and dating is that we assume we have all the answers.  Sadly we don’t and that’s why the divorce rate is just as high with Christians.

*Ladies!  You can’t expect to have a god-filled marriage when your man has NO VISION!  He should be seeking and have sought God for the plan for his life.  If he does not know what he is destined to be or do then he is not ready for marriage.  You’ll end up following him to a dead end. Girls get rid of all your excess baggage, emotions, doubts, fears, and past experiences!  You have to be ready to give your husband your all! 

 

*Gents!  You can’t expect to find a wife and find a good thing if you are pursuing an idea of what a woman should be.  Beauty is temporary!  It’s like shopping for new sneaks.  You have a plethora of choices.  Once you decided on the style, then you choose the color.  Once you choose the color, then you have to pick the right size!  If you wear a size 12 you can’t possibly fit a 10. It’ll cut off your circulation!  If you pick a size 14 you will be stuntin’ but ultimately lose your footing because it’s too big.

Ladies you should never be caught chasing a man.  If he wants you he will come get you!  Men are not shy when it comes to want they want!  And fellas if she is the aggressor you will always be the tail and not the head.  You will find yourself chasing her vision and her dream and not your own. 

Just something to think about!  2017 is going to be a great year!  Don’t make it harder on yourself!

 

7 DAYS OF CONSUMING GOOD FRUIT

meekness/temperance

 

Woohoo!  We made it to the last day of this series consuming some good fruit I hope before 2017.  The biggest thing I want you to remember is that you already possess the 9 fruits of the spirit when received the Holy Spirit.  The key is to learn what they are and then utilize them. Hopefully, I have given you a jump start, but you should always go to the ultimate guide.  Your bible!

Meekness and temperance are often overlooked but there are most important because they both reflect what’s on your mind.  And depending what’s on your mind determines if you will display the fruit of meekness/temperance or something else that is evil in God’s eyes.  Let’s quickly define the two:

 

Meekness

humbly patient or docile compliant; tame; gentle; kind; yielding; calm, soft.
A great example of a meek soul in the bible of course is Jesus.  Another great example is Queen Esther.  She humbled herself as Queen when she received word that her entire family genealogy would be wiped out due to the evil plot of Haman.  She remained calm, she fasted before the Lord for 3 days, and she was gentle in her approach to the king. Her request to save the Jews was granted that very moment.  Meekness will open doors for you that you can’t open yourself!
Temperance
moderation or self-restraint in action, self-control; attitude.

Your attitude is everything!  How you think through out the day will determine how you behave and respond.  Every issue or problem does not require your full attention.  Some situations you were never meant to get emotionally rapped up in.
So congrats!  We have successfully went through all the fruits of the spirit.  I pray this has given you all some understanding and pray you’re more apt to apply these everyday.  Happy New Year!!!  See you in 2017.

Galatians 5:23 (KJV)

Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.