#relationshipgoals

Ever ask why relationships are such a hot topic in the church?  Think about it….our entire world revolves around relationships.  How we think, feel, and act are predetermined by our relationships with our parents (if any) family, friends, co-workers, and even strangers.

The most important relationship we will ever have hopefully is our relationship with Jesus.  Just imagine for a second, we treat Jesus like our absent father who wants to rekindle a relationship down the road.  We ignore his phone calls, or we only call him when we need money.

How about treating him like an overbearing, but nurturing mother?  You only run to momma when you feel like your world is over, but as soon as a little light shines through your gone.  Running to your pleasures again and leaving your poor mother behind.

Maybe you treat Jesus more like that annoying co-worker, you pretend to listen to as they tell you about their weekend.  Or you abruptly end the conversation because they get on your nerves.  You’d rather spend time with anyone else than them.

Or maybe Jesus was like the homeless man you saw on the street and said to yourself, he  only wants my money to buy liquor and you pass him by without thinking twice.  Whether you have a super close relationship with Jesus comparing to the mothers scenario or more similar to the annoying co-worker it’s safe to say your relationship needs work.

The concept to grasp is that you want a healthy relationship with all five relationships, including Jesus.  The key to acknowledge is that the only way you can have a healthy relationship with those on earth is to first develop a healthy relationship with Christ.  This takes time!  Spend time with as if he were your BFF.  The love that Jesus has is not like your parents.  It’s so much more!

THE GOOD THINGS TO ASK GOD FOR

I can amaze myself sometimes.  I’ve been in the game now officially 5 years and it feels like I am riding the Batman ride at six flags most days.  Just when you think you got all the answers God comes back and says you’ve got more room to grow.

No problem God….smh

One lesson that I seem to be reminded of constantly is learning to ask God for “good things” in his eyes.  We can learn from our ancient bible friends like David to ask for a clean heart and renew a right spirit.  However, there is nothing wrong with asking God for a baby, spouse, car, house, etc.  But there are things that make God smile when we ask and perhaps we forget about them because life seems to pull at us on every side.

What are these “good things”?  I’ll list a few below…

Righteousness….

Oh boy!  You will tug on the heart-strings of God if you ask for this right here!

His word tells us, “Blessed are those that hunger and thirst for righteousness for they shall be filled.” Matthew 5:6

Essentially what you are asking God is to clean you from the inside out; to make you whole.  You have heart and desire to be more like him.  To walk in the Spirit and not the flesh.  There is nothing more pleasing to God than this…besides the faith that goes behind believing this.

Peace…

The peace God gives will leave you in a place of tranquility.  Only God can do this!  No substance on earth can bring this kind of peace.  If we could just learn to keep our minds on Jesus we can have it.  Every single day!  No matter the situation you face!  I can remember a moment in my life where I should have just lost it.  My mother died in 2014, she was only 57, and I was 32.  I carried for months such a rest, a peace from God that I couldn’t even grieve my mother’s death until months down the road.  As a matter a fact I rejoiced!  She got saved a week before she died and that lifted my soul.  

Gifts of the Spirit…

Healing the sick, casting out devils, teaching the word of God, winning souls, missionary, pastor/preacher, etc.  These are gifts that you may be uncertain about, or you may have and don’t how to activate it.  These are good gifts from the Lord and should be used to bring him glory, not ourselves.  

 

God loves us so much and blesses us everyday, uniquely for each one of his precious children.  There are many things we can ask God for, but as we watch time and this world wind down learn to ask for “good things” in the Father’s eyes.

God bless!

DOES HE HAVE VISION???

It’s a new year, new day, and I pray a new mindset for everyone!  

I hope all of the singles crossed over into the new year.  Still believing, still practicing abstinence, and filled with expectancy!  I know that last year was rough!  And if you are like me, weary can’t describe how you felt in 2016 while waiting on your mate. So what I want to say to you is this!  Focus on your relationship with God in 2017!

Before we begin to stress about whether we are going to meet our spouse’s this year….it’s good to reflect on your own growth and maturity in Christ.  Ask yourself are you the wife/husband you should be.  It’s easy to say what we want and desire out of a relationship!  But think about what you are bringing to the table. 

For the ladies the biggest issue nowadays is that we spend so much time chasing the man instead of allowing him to pursue us.  The biggest issue for men now is that he doesn’t take time to ask God about the woman to be.

The problem with Christians and dating is that we assume we have all the answers.  Sadly we don’t and that’s why the divorce rate is just as high with Christians.

*Ladies!  You can’t expect to have a god-filled marriage when your man has NO VISION!  He should be seeking and have sought God for the plan for his life.  If he does not know what he is destined to be or do then he is not ready for marriage.  You’ll end up following him to a dead end. Girls get rid of all your excess baggage, emotions, doubts, fears, and past experiences!  You have to be ready to give your husband your all! 

 

*Gents!  You can’t expect to find a wife and find a good thing if you are pursuing an idea of what a woman should be.  Beauty is temporary!  It’s like shopping for new sneaks.  You have a plethora of choices.  Once you decided on the style, then you choose the color.  Once you choose the color, then you have to pick the right size!  If you wear a size 12 you can’t possibly fit a 10. It’ll cut off your circulation!  If you pick a size 14 you will be stuntin’ but ultimately lose your footing because it’s too big.

Ladies you should never be caught chasing a man.  If he wants you he will come get you!  Men are not shy when it comes to want they want!  And fellas if she is the aggressor you will always be the tail and not the head.  You will find yourself chasing her vision and her dream and not your own. 

Just something to think about!  2017 is going to be a great year!  Don’t make it harder on yourself!

 

IMPERFECTIONS ARE PERFECT!

I just love Peter!  He is one of my favorite people that is recorded in the Bible.  He was an imperfect person perfected in Christ.  Most people know Peter as the one who curses.  He was also a boaster, prideful, and probably a few other things we may not recognize.  But all Christ could see was his finished product.  “But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.”  Luke 22:32

Leah is another profound woman in the Bible who didn’t have a lot of options and God still used her and her unwanted seed for greatness!

I can’t stand bullying.  It infuriates me to know that more and more kids are committing suicide because of it.  There is so much blaming going on that there is not an obvious solution to the problem.  I have experienced bullying as a child however, it never drove me to thoughts of suicide praise God.  My generation was taught to fight back.  So in essence that’s what I did. If you made fun of me I made fun of you.  If you hit me I hit you.  Now that I am older and saved I often question how I will tell my kids to handle a bully.  Christ said to turn the other cheek right?

I remember a kid bullying my little brother when he was just in the second grade.  I was in the fifth grade.  As I said before I wasn’t always saved.  He was pushing my brother and I came to his defense.  Needless to say we took care of the bully on the school playground.  But as a Christ-loving child how would I have acted, how should I act?  One day I was flipping through the Instagram help section and say that they have a link to click if you need help with thoughts of suicide.  This broke my heart!

I pray that we are teaching our kids to friend those who are bullied for being different and to the kids who attend school with the victim to not stand by but get help when someone is being bullied.  I pray that the schools begin to crack down harder on kids who bully and parents of bullies to become more aware of how your child is behaving at school.  Victims of bullying often feel that there is something wrong with them.  I know this torment seems to go on forever, but trust me it doesn’t.  I am living proof of that!

We all have different views of why we aren’t perfect.  I absolutely hated being skinny.  I was teased for so long I hated my body!  It’s funny how I was considered ugly as a kid and now in my 30’s the same people who made fun of me say they wish they were me. Perhaps you don’t like your skin tone, height, location, circumstances, whatever the case me be know this; God sees you as perfect no matter what!  He can take what the world sees as imperfect and perfect you!

I want this blog to shared with someone you may know is dealing with thoughts of suicide and to Christian children and parents that read this.  God bless you!

 

DON’T GIVE YOUR PEARLS TO PIGS

 

I just had to run with this title after listening to Pastor Steven Furtick’s sermon called “Fix Your Focus”.  It comes from the scripture Matthew 7:6 “Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.”  You can find this awesome sermon on youtube.  It took an interesting turn with this scripture and relayed it to relationships quoting…single Christians, don’t give your pearls to pigs.  So often we do give too much of ourselves to someone who isn’t worthy of our time.  And we wonder why the divorce rate with Christians is just as high as other groups.

It is my belief that we actually need some good foundation teaching on what it means to marry for a Christian.  Pastor Furtick mentioned that we are so excited about falling in love, that we don’t take time to learn what it really means to be in love.  I honestly think we’ve all seen too many movies.  We don’t understand the fundamentals of marriage.  We don’t understand what a man needs and what a woman needs.  We miss out on learning about one another by spending too much time on the physical stuff!  Meanwhile many suffer from what I call “courting amnesia”.  They forget to ask God.

God knows who would be perfect for you.  Just like he knows your thoughts, your ways, and heart.  We tell God I got this, I know what I want.  Then, we go after the package and worry about the warning label on the back later.  Soon after we are disappointed that the person didn’t live up to our potential and we are ready to return to sender.  So to avoid any heartache and pain, why not ask God first?  I’m not denying that there is trouble even in a God send marriage, but there are some red flags you can avoid. Remember this person is tied to your destiny.  You want someone who will compliment that.

Just something to think about singles.  Comments are welcome.  God bless!

SEPARATION VS. PREPARATION

It seems single ministries in churches are already far and few between.  But what’s even more alarming is that it focuses on simply being single and serving vs. waiting and working.  This is honestly just my opinion, but I believe too many churches (especially black churches) are not preparing single people for marriage.  They are just training them to serve.  It’s also an eye sore to see the single ministries filled with women and maybe one or two men if that.  What’s the matter?  I hear Christian men say they don’t need help finding the woman God has for them.  This may be true for some, who actually seek God and don’t have a Samson personality.  Seriously though there needs to be a recharacterization in single ministries ASAP!  Thought and comments are welcome!  God bless!

EVANGELISM 101

 

Good afternoon! 

How are you guys?

I had an exhausting but fun weekend!  Spent some time in the pool, ate great food, and fun with my besties!

I wanted to chat with the singles this summer.  You know the summer season is the hook up season!  Especially those of you who have not been saved all your life.  I am super excited not because it’s mating season for some, but this is a great opportunity to share the gospel with strangers.   I don’t know what it is about summer, perhaps it’s the beautiful breeze and the sunshine that keeps people happy.  People are more open to talk with Christians about Christ it seems in the summer.

Evangelism is not scary!  Get that stinkin’ thinkin’ out your head.  You can strike up an interesting conversation with anyone.  The key is to share in love.  You’ll learn something new from each individual person you encounter.  

Not really hands on or a little shy? No problem, you can always give out a bible verse written on a note card to someone, your church information, or start a blog!

There are many ways to share your faith with strangers.  In my book “To be a Light in a Dark Place” I talk about many different ways the Lord allowed me to share my testimony.  Take a peak by clicking the link below.  God bless and great work saints!