#relationshipgoals

Ever ask why relationships are such a hot topic in the church?  Think about it….our entire world revolves around relationships.  How we think, feel, and act are predetermined by our relationships with our parents (if any) family, friends, co-workers, and even strangers.

The most important relationship we will ever have hopefully is our relationship with Jesus.  Just imagine for a second, we treat Jesus like our absent father who wants to rekindle a relationship down the road.  We ignore his phone calls, or we only call him when we need money.

How about treating him like an overbearing, but nurturing mother?  You only run to momma when you feel like your world is over, but as soon as a little light shines through your gone.  Running to your pleasures again and leaving your poor mother behind.

Maybe you treat Jesus more like that annoying co-worker, you pretend to listen to as they tell you about their weekend.  Or you abruptly end the conversation because they get on your nerves.  You’d rather spend time with anyone else than them.

Or maybe Jesus was like the homeless man you saw on the street and said to yourself, he  only wants my money to buy liquor and you pass him by without thinking twice.  Whether you have a super close relationship with Jesus comparing to the mothers scenario or more similar to the annoying co-worker it’s safe to say your relationship needs work.

The concept to grasp is that you want a healthy relationship with all five relationships, including Jesus.  The key to acknowledge is that the only way you can have a healthy relationship with those on earth is to first develop a healthy relationship with Christ.  This takes time!  Spend time with as if he were your BFF.  The love that Jesus has is not like your parents.  It’s so much more!

THE GOOD THINGS TO ASK GOD FOR

I can amaze myself sometimes.  I’ve been in the game now officially 5 years and it feels like I am riding the Batman ride at six flags most days.  Just when you think you got all the answers God comes back and says you’ve got more room to grow.

No problem God….smh

One lesson that I seem to be reminded of constantly is learning to ask God for “good things” in his eyes.  We can learn from our ancient bible friends like David to ask for a clean heart and renew a right spirit.  However, there is nothing wrong with asking God for a baby, spouse, car, house, etc.  But there are things that make God smile when we ask and perhaps we forget about them because life seems to pull at us on every side.

What are these “good things”?  I’ll list a few below…

Righteousness….

Oh boy!  You will tug on the heart-strings of God if you ask for this right here!

His word tells us, “Blessed are those that hunger and thirst for righteousness for they shall be filled.” Matthew 5:6

Essentially what you are asking God is to clean you from the inside out; to make you whole.  You have heart and desire to be more like him.  To walk in the Spirit and not the flesh.  There is nothing more pleasing to God than this…besides the faith that goes behind believing this.

Peace…

The peace God gives will leave you in a place of tranquility.  Only God can do this!  No substance on earth can bring this kind of peace.  If we could just learn to keep our minds on Jesus we can have it.  Every single day!  No matter the situation you face!  I can remember a moment in my life where I should have just lost it.  My mother died in 2014, she was only 57, and I was 32.  I carried for months such a rest, a peace from God that I couldn’t even grieve my mother’s death until months down the road.  As a matter a fact I rejoiced!  She got saved a week before she died and that lifted my soul.  

Gifts of the Spirit…

Healing the sick, casting out devils, teaching the word of God, winning souls, missionary, pastor/preacher, etc.  These are gifts that you may be uncertain about, or you may have and don’t how to activate it.  These are good gifts from the Lord and should be used to bring him glory, not ourselves.  

 

God loves us so much and blesses us everyday, uniquely for each one of his precious children.  There are many things we can ask God for, but as we watch time and this world wind down learn to ask for “good things” in the Father’s eyes.

God bless!

WHEN THEY DON’T PASS THE TEST

LET THEM GO!!! LOL!!! THAT’S IT!!! IT’S AS SIMPLE AS THAT!!!

 

 

I’m kidding.  But seriously I’ll keep this short and sweet.  Before you consider anyone know this!  God will reveal to you your mate if you desire!!!  Just review the story of Rebecca and Isaac.  So often we are focused on Ruth and Boaz story we forget about this divine intervention from God!  If God knew before you were formed in your mothers womb and he know’s your beginning and end.  Don’t you think he knows a good partner for you too?  Just saying….

So how do you know????

  1. Do they match what God is saying about your mate?
  2. Have you even asked God about your mate?
  3. Do they know their purpose?
  4. Do you know your own purpose (if not you need to seek God, before you seek a mate)?

Here is the story of Isaac and Rebecca with commentary!  Enjoy!

Genesis 24:2-16
He said to the senior servant in his household, the one in charge of all that he had, “Put your hand under my thigh. 3I want you to swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, but will go to my country and my own relatives and get a wife for my son Isaac.”
The servant asked him, “What if the woman is unwilling to come back with me to this land? Shall I then take your son back to the country you came from?”
6“Make sure that you do not take my son back there,” Abraham said. 7“The Lord, the God of heaven, who brought me out of my father’s household and my native land and who spoke to me and promised me on oath, saying, ‘To your offspring I will give this land’—he will send his angel before you so that you can get a wife for my son from there.
ABRAHAM TRUSTED GOD TO REVEAL.
If the woman is unwilling to come back with you, then you will be released from this oath of mine. Only do not take my son back there.” So the servant put his hand under the thigh of his master Abraham and swore an oath to him concerning this matter.
10 Then the servant left, taking with him ten of his master’s camels loaded with all kinds of good things from his master. He set out for Aram Naharaim and made his way to the town of Nahor. 11 He had the camels kneel down near the well outside the town; it was toward evening, the time the women go out to draw water.
12 Then he prayed, “Lord, God of my master Abraham, make me successful today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. 13 See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water.
THE SERVANT DID WHAT WE ALL SHOULD DO ABOUT MARRIAGE!  HE PRAYED! PRAY FOR DIRECTION! PRAY FOR REVELATION. GOD WILL REVEAL THINGS ABOUT THE PERSON HE WON’T REVEAL THE PERSON UNTIL IT’S TIME. 
14 May it be that when I say to a young woman, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’—let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.”
15 Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milkah, who was the wife of Abraham’s brother Nahor. 16 The woman was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had ever slept with her. She went down to the spring, filled her jar and came up again.

DOES HE HAVE VISION???

It’s a new year, new day, and I pray a new mindset for everyone!  

I hope all of the singles crossed over into the new year.  Still believing, still practicing abstinence, and filled with expectancy!  I know that last year was rough!  And if you are like me, weary can’t describe how you felt in 2016 while waiting on your mate. So what I want to say to you is this!  Focus on your relationship with God in 2017!

Before we begin to stress about whether we are going to meet our spouse’s this year….it’s good to reflect on your own growth and maturity in Christ.  Ask yourself are you the wife/husband you should be.  It’s easy to say what we want and desire out of a relationship!  But think about what you are bringing to the table. 

For the ladies the biggest issue nowadays is that we spend so much time chasing the man instead of allowing him to pursue us.  The biggest issue for men now is that he doesn’t take time to ask God about the woman to be.

The problem with Christians and dating is that we assume we have all the answers.  Sadly we don’t and that’s why the divorce rate is just as high with Christians.

*Ladies!  You can’t expect to have a god-filled marriage when your man has NO VISION!  He should be seeking and have sought God for the plan for his life.  If he does not know what he is destined to be or do then he is not ready for marriage.  You’ll end up following him to a dead end. Girls get rid of all your excess baggage, emotions, doubts, fears, and past experiences!  You have to be ready to give your husband your all! 

 

*Gents!  You can’t expect to find a wife and find a good thing if you are pursuing an idea of what a woman should be.  Beauty is temporary!  It’s like shopping for new sneaks.  You have a plethora of choices.  Once you decided on the style, then you choose the color.  Once you choose the color, then you have to pick the right size!  If you wear a size 12 you can’t possibly fit a 10. It’ll cut off your circulation!  If you pick a size 14 you will be stuntin’ but ultimately lose your footing because it’s too big.

Ladies you should never be caught chasing a man.  If he wants you he will come get you!  Men are not shy when it comes to want they want!  And fellas if she is the aggressor you will always be the tail and not the head.  You will find yourself chasing her vision and her dream and not your own. 

Just something to think about!  2017 is going to be a great year!  Don’t make it harder on yourself!

 

COURTING VS. DATING

Hello everyone!  I have been on a blog kick this month apparently.  Forgive me for the picture I know it doesn’t match the blog title.  But I love these boots lol.

My oh my what a delightful topic for many Christians who are single.  What in the world is the difference between courting and dating?  Well one huge difference is that courting existed in the 1700’s while dating is a 20th century ideal. (lol)  No seriously, there is a major difference between the two and if you will let me, I’d like to point them out.  Ready?  Here we go!

Courting allows the man and the woman to be friends first.

Dating says lets just go with the flow.

Courting gives you time to discover if this is the mate God has for you.

Dating says as long as there is chemistry we can make it work.

Courting says no sex before marriage.

Dating says sex is open before marriage.

Courting says consult God throughout the process.

Dating says your smart enough to make the decision.

The most important thing to remember is that if you are seeking God to live out your purpose in life, you should desire a spouse that is a part of God’s plan for your life.  Don’t be afraid to ask God questions about your spouse!  God does speak about all the other plans in your life, why wouldn’t he tell you about your spouse?  Now don’t think God is going to give you an address or the persons name but know that you can ask the Father about the person.  I love what Dr. Myles Monroe said about Adam and Eve.  He said Adam did not meet the woman first.  Instead Adam met with God in his presence first, then the woman was introduced to Adam. 

When Adam woke up out of his sleep, he was able to perceive that the woman came from his rib.  How????  Because God had given him revelation that it was so!  You can go to God and ask for revelation about your future spouse.  Men especially, hear me out on this!  How else will you know what you are looking for if you don’t know what you are looking for?  A woman that knows how to cook is not the only quality in a “godly wife” you should be looking for…keyword “godly”.  Ladies be careful! Wearing our hearts on our sleeve is not a compliment.  We can’t go for the first guy we see, ask questions and take this man to God in prayer.  God will say no quickly if he is not it!  And if he is, God will let him know too!  God won’t tell you without telling the man.

I hope this shed some light on courting vs. dating.  Have a great night!

 

 

7 DAYS OF CONSUMING GOOD FRUIT

GENTLENESS/GOODNESS

 

Good afternoon!

I pray you all had a very Merry Christmas and enjoyed fellowship with family friends.  Most of us I know are back to work for a few days then off to enjoy the New year.  Today we are discussing the fruits gentleness and goodness. A fair warning, this blog will be filled scriptures!  The word of God is very clear about the display of these fruits.

 

Psalms 18:35 (KJV)

Thou hast also given me the shield of thy salvation: and thy right hand hath holden me up, and thy gentleness hath made me great.

 

God is good!  When you begin to learn more about God you realize that he encompasses the same fruits that he says we should have.  And if you think about it we should already have them.  Why?  Because the spirit of God dwells in us already!

 

1 Thessalonians 2:7 (KJV)

But we were gentle among you, even as a nurse cherisheth her children:

Whenever and however you choose to witness to someone, you should always be gentle!  I go more in depth about this in my book, “To be a Light in a Dark Place.”  Don’t immediately go into the repentance speech!  Always find out the “why” behind the behavior.  Then you can witness, then get them to receive salvation.  Be kind!

 

 

Titus 3:2 (KJV)

To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men.

 

Pay attention to the first part of the verse!  It is crucial for believers!  Speak evil of no man! That means stop gossiping, stop saying mean things, stop being petty, stop criticizing others!  Remember what your parents or teacher taught you!  If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.

 

Romans 2:4 (KJV)

Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?

 

Did you see that?! “not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance!”  I am super excited!  As I stated earlier when you witness to someone you should always be gentle.  But it is not for us to lead them to repentance. Think back to what lead you to repent.  Was it a worship service, the pastor preaching, or experiencing God’s presence for the first time?  For me it was a broken heart that led me to Christ.  Understand that we plant seeds, water, but God gives the increase.

 

Psalms 33:5 (KJV)

He loveth righteousness and judgment: the earth is full of the goodness of the Lord.

 

Remember these scriptures when you think of the gentleness and goodness of the Lord!  He is awesome!  He is worthy of praise always for his goodness and gentleness.  That is how we should appear as his children!  People should say, Aretha is always good, she is gentle!

Selah….

 

 

 

If you would like to learn more about the gift of evangelism copy the link below:

https://www.amazon.com/Aretha-Lumas/e/B00L4IG1VY

 

 

7 DAYS OF CONSUMING GOOD FRUIT “LONGSUFFERING”

I remember the first time I heard the word long-suffering.  I honestly did not have the best reaction to it, my facial expression said it all.  The word long-suffering sounds like your life is about to end by something traumatic and extreme event. However, the bible reassures us that long-suffering is a blessing.

long-suffering: having or showing patience in spite of troubles, especially those caused by other people.

This is probably a fruit that is often overlooked, or we believe falsely that is has been obtained and utilized.  As I observe our world today I don’t know if I can point out anyone that truly exemplifies that fruit of long-suffering except God.  Maybe our Pastors and leaders, but even they lose patience with members and the flow of the church.

I asked a few friends what long-suffering meant to them.  Here are the responses I received:

SICK

SET BACK

PAINFUL

Another friend responded:

ENDURANCE

PATIENCE

The first set of answers may seem to come from baby saints while the other set may seem to come from more mature saints.  Honestly, no matter what phase you are currently set in through your transformation process ALL OF THE ABOVE will be accurate!

When I read these answers, all I see is Jesus!  His body was sick from all the beatings, the false accusations, the lies, the piercing in his side, and him drooping from the cross.  It seemed a set back that Jesus was given life only to die. Indeed we know otherwise!  He is now seated next to “God the Father” in heaven!  His trial was indeed painful, but what did Jesus respond with? “Forgive them Father, they know not what they do.”  Luke 23:34.

Endurance and patience!  That’s all we see displayed in the gospels.  I still can’t grasp to this day how Jesus managed to walk with a cross on his back with help to Calvary!  I can’t see how he lived past the beatings.  The bible says he was beaten beyond recognition.  The version we see in the movie Passion of the Christ is light compared to the gruesome reality of Jesus demise.  He obviously had the power of God upon him.  This is the true definition of long-suffering; Jesus!

We can’t focus on the trials, problems, dysfunction in our lives.  We have to understand that long-suffering is a part of the process.  This is why Jesus says, “Pick up your cross and follow me.”  We all go through things we don’t like! Focus on the what your reward will be.  In the end we will all receive a crown for the tribulations we suffered through.  And in the next life, we won’t even remember the former things.   God bless!

 

Copy the link to pick up your copy of the book, “To be a Light in a Dark Place”  to learn more about evangelism.

https://www.amazon.com/Aretha-Lumas/e/B00L4IG1VY

 

7 DAYS CONSUMING GOOD FRUIT

There comes a time in our walk with God that we desire to discover the hidden treasures of the Spirit.  There is so much God wants to reveal to us about him often we just don’t know how to ask for it or find it.  I always start with the word.  Anytime I spend time in God’s word there is always a new revelation revealed.  I have been in a place where I truly want to know who I am in Christ.  So this journey began of course by an unction of the Holy Spirit to look up “the fruits of the spirit” found in Galatians.  Over the next 7 days I will be posting a new blog so we can walk through the 9 fruits of the spirit. I want you to know exactly what you have inside of you.  His spirit lives in us and we should exemplify these fruits daily!

Galatians 5:22-23New International Version (NIV)

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

I have read and seen this scripture many times.  Every once in a while I like to travel back to it in the bible just to see how I am doing.  Notice the second sentence in this scripture: against such things there is no law.  Powerful!  Paul in this verse is explaining that Christians that live there life demonstrating these fruits are not bound by the law.  Seems easy enough right?  Not really, sometimes life can throw curve balls our way that gets us off our game, or we have not been fully delivered in some areas.  What we need more of is revelation!  So let me start of this blog with some revelation I have received.  Plus, I will still keep it short and sweet!

THE FRUIT OF LOVE

There is a clear difference between what God defines as love and what the world defines as love.  Here is a break down:

GOD DEFINITION OF LOVE                                                        THE WORLD DEFINITION OF LOVE

Agape-unconditional love                                                         Love-intense feeling of love

Love is thoughtful                                                                        Love is based upon emotions

Giving                                                                                               Needy

Beauty is of the heart                                                                  Beauty is about the outside first

Spiritual attraction                                                                       Sexual attraction

If you already knew that that’s great!  But here is a way to test yourself, this includes ladies and gents.

  1. Do you ALWAYS find yourself looking at the opposite sex?  Always comparing and rating them on a scale?
  2. Are you sexually aroused often around the opposite sex?
  3. Are you always listing out what the man/woman can do for you, and not what you can do for them whether your single/married/in a relationship?

If you answered yes, maybe, or kind of”” to any of these….and you honestly answered truthfully, then you should definitely pray to God about it.  The ultimate example of love that we have is God and his wonderful son Jesus!  But if your like me I needed to read what not to do first and that you can find by reading the same chapter in Galatians where you find the good fruit (Galatians 5:19-21).  Paul gives us a great list of what is not love.

I hope this helped in some form or fashion!  God bless you all!  Keep reading your bible, praying, and seeking God!  It’s time we all come to know who we really are.

If you would like to read a book on evangelism copy the link below to order your hard copy available on amazon or download the e-book version on your Kindle.

https://www.amazon.com/Aretha-Lumas/e/B00L4IG1VY