Helpmeet vs. Swapmeet

Good afternoon bloggers and readers!  It is my pleasure to present today’s topic are you a helpmeet or just swapmeet.  Trust me I am not trying to jab anyone, but I want you to understand what it looks like from a male perspective when your looking for a husband.  Ladies if you don’t have a male confidant, like an older brother or a good friend (not a friend you’re secretly attracted to, but just a friend) get one!  It helps!!

I am often baffled when I see women who jump from relationship to relationship or brag about the back up buddy just in case the new guy messes up.  It’s sad because women are only trying to find true love.  I know because I used to be one.  But you have to be aware of how it looks to GOOD men!  It’s not a good thing trust me.

In fact a godly man won’t even look twice.  I heard a guy say once he wasn’t fond of a woman who dated a lot.  It didn’t matter to him that she wasn’t sleeping around with all of them.  He said something so profound it stuck with me.  “Women who jump from guy to guy just aren’t secure in themselves.  I want a confident woman.  Makes since ladies?book cover




Good morning everyone!  It is going to be a fabulous Wednesday!  I am so excited for this weekend!  I will be attending the “Treading The High Places Women’s Retreat” for the second time!  I am so full of anticipation and excitement!  I am looking for God to remove any stubborn sins!  You know sometimes we can be our own downfall!  The bible warns us that we are often drawn away by our own lust James 1:14.  If only you would just take a second and recognize your weaknesses it would help you on the journey of faith!  I’ll start!  I have a weakness for cute guys.  Usually they are not saved.  And as I allowed God to deal with me to find out what it truly it is….it is the spirit of lust.  I almost got myself caught in sin but was able to get out by way of escape!  Thank God!  Hopefully I can share with you some “no no’s” if you struggle in this area.

*Keep your hands to yourself.

So I am a very touchy person and that is okay.  However, when you are attracted to someone don’t touch them!  I learned the hard way.  It literally opened the door to more flirtation between me and this guy who I knew was not for me.  It was hard to set the barrier later when we established just a friendship.  Thank goodness it didn’t go further than just a few hugs.

*Watch your language.

Did I mention I am a natural flirt?  I have a tendency to be just a little more chatty that I should.  Especially if I sense that their is a vibe going on.  I once told the same guy how cute he looked in the sweater.  I could have just said it was a nice sweater. So he responded with you look good too, as always.  And the conversation went down hill from there.  That was another open door.

*Be careful with your body language.

I know I can’t be the only one guilty of this.  Leaning in too close, hugging too long, touching hands.  I’m told I have the cat eyes.  I draw you in with look.  I can remember playing the staring game with this guy for  a while.  The longer I stared the closer we leaned in to each other.  I knew the next thing to happen would be a kiss so I backed up!  It took all of Jesus to do back off.  But nevertheless.  It I had avoided the initial moment I wouldn’t have almost fell into temptation.

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It seems single ministries in churches are already far and few between.  But what’s even more alarming is that it focuses on simply being single and serving vs. waiting and working.  This is honestly just my opinion, but I believe too many churches (especially black churches) are not preparing single people for marriage.  They are just training them to serve.  It’s also an eye sore to see the single ministries filled with women and maybe one or two men if that.  What’s the matter?  I hear Christian men say they don’t need help finding the woman God has for them.  This may be true for some, who actually seek God and don’t have a Samson personality.  Seriously though there needs to be a recharacterization in single ministries ASAP!  Thought and comments are welcome!  God bless!