I AM A MIRACLE!

The month of August has been an interesting time for me.  I can’t believe the year is almost over.  This year has went by so fast!  So much has happened good and bad!  I thank God for it all because it was all for my good!  I have hit some milestones in my life, some highs and some lows, but knowing in all of it I am a overcomer.

This morning I logged in to my Facebook app to purposely look for the “On this day” feature.  I love to look at the memories; how I have matured in Christ since November 1, 2012.  It reminds me that God is working on me.  Today I saw an old modeling photo shared in August of 2010, probably taken in my late 20’s in downtown STL.  It was a beautiful day out and the photographer I only worked with once.  I remember feeling so beautiful that day in a itty-bitty white bikini.

I left the shoot feeling accomplished.  I was pursuing my dream of being the next Twiggy!  The reality was, I was such a mess.  Modeling was the only way I felt beautiful.  Every other day, I felt ugly and unloved.  As I look at this photo today I see a broken girl, lost in the world trying to find herself.  I didn’t know who I was.  I was seeking male attention, affection, I just wanted to hear the words you are beautiful.  I substituted being sexy for being beautiful, not realizing it, and made it easy for emotionally unavailable men to be attracted to me.

When I see the then and now transformation, I can’t help but give God glory!  I am 5 years celibate only because of our savior Jesus Christ!  I remember the day when he called me out of darkness!  Only because at the time I was willing to hear God speak to me that day!  God wanted to use me even in my mess!  It was through a prophecy received that God said he need a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ from me, and a prophetic dream that made me cry out “YES LORD!”

Today I walk in victory!  Each day I get out of bed, still giving God the glory I overcome the enemy!  I walked away from non-Christian men and ran straight into the arms of Jesus!  I gave up modeling and with that small act of obedience God blessed me!  I have a new walk, talk, and style of clothes.  I have a new attitude about beauty praise God!  Inner beauty is illuminating, it’s attractive, it’s not abrasive and it is pure.  I thank God for giving me an inner beauty.  Yes I do believe I am beautiful on the outside, but I needed to be healed on the inside first.  Only God could do that!

I know that my walk with Christ is not by chance.  I have an assignment to encourage others and I intend to do so!  God is not through with me and he is certainly not through with you!  I am a miracle!  The devil did not want me to be saved!  God found me and turned my life around.  I owe him my life!  Just as he gave his for me!  I love him!  And I love you all too! God bless!

 

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